GLAD TIDINGS OF GOOD CHEER...

...dogs love Christmas too...we've all heard that line many times but who really believed it...well our crack team of reporters has been investigating and we can now provide proof positive not only that it's true, but also the reason why our canine friends like the season of merriment...

...dreaming of a honkey Christmas....Faux News (Fox) blond bimbo anchor Megyn ("Megyn"-her own spelling) Kelly has set the record straight by assuring her audience that both Santa and Jesus are lily white...just sayin'...when challenged on such an irrelevant and myopic statement, Faux News doubled down by trotting out Bill ("O'Really?") O'Reilly, another open-minded Irish-American (NOT!), to rescue the poor little damsel Megyn...Faux never got around to explaining the supposed relevance of all this but their repeated claims of Jesus' alleged Nordic properties served to emphasize just how relevant skin color really is to people like Kelly and O'Reilly and their band of un-merry morons...but what can we expect from a person named Kelly who doesn't even know how to spell her own "Christian" name and names her newborn "Thatcher"...as they say, you can't make this stuff up...

"and I'm of North African descent - 

that's why Jesus looks just like me"

...fa-la-la-la-la la-la la-la...but away with those stooges...'tis the season to be jolly whether you're green or red, so in the true spirit I will share my favorite poem for this time of year...A Christmas Childhood was penned by Patrick Kavanagh, one of Ireland's greatest poets, and shows that even he was not the curmudgeon he is often portrayed as...herewith some of my favorite lines...

     One side of the potato-pits was white with frost -
     How wonderful that was, how wonderful!
     And when we put our ears to the paling-post
     The music that came out was magical.
     *   *   *
     My father played the melodion
     Outside at our gate:
     There were stars in the morning east
     And they danced to his music.
     *   *   *
     Outside in the cow-house my mother
     Made the music of milking;
     The light of her stable-lamp was a star
     And the frost of Bethlehem made it twinkle.

     A water-hen screeched in the bog;
     Mass-going feet
     Crunched the wafer-thin ice on the pot-holes,

     Somebody wistfully twisted the bellows wheel.

     *   *   *
     I nicked six nicks on the door-post
     With my penknife's big blade -

     There was a little one for cutting tobacco.

     And I was six Christmases of age.

...I tried to play the melodion but....this week your dear editor (not to be confused with Dear Leader) was kindly invited to give a presentation to an Irish literature reading group...the host invited me to bring along my melodion (Irish accordion) for entertainment...which turned out to be a humbling occasion reminding me how flawed and precarious we all are...as most of you know, I've been playing about 10 years now and have progressed to a point where I can play a number of tunes pretty decently...so I carefully chose my playing list, practiced ahead, carefully pulled out my instrument, explained the back story of my tunes, and started playing...and started playing again...and started playing again...and again...and again...and stumbled on and...in a word, I was horrible...so I have come up with a new and better use for my accordion....

...and finally the Brew of the Month... is Port City Brewing Company's "Tidings"...a very nicey-spicey ale just right for the holidays...but beware - this one carries a 7.8% alcohol content...

A HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND MERRY NEW YEAR TO ONE AND ALL!!

- the Brewmeister -