"TIME FOR SOME TRAFFIC PROBLEMS IN FORT LEE"
-- New Jersey Governor Chris Christie's deputy chief of staff Bridget Anne Kelly in an email to the Port Authority of New York
...they all misbehaved but only the woman is ''stupid"...here we go again...Republican Governor Chris ("Chris") Christie is mired in a scandal surrounding his top aides intentionally causing massive traffic jams on the George Washington Bridge...for four days in September, Christie's top staff conspired with his appointments to the Port Authority of New York to close two access lanes to the bridge in Fort Lee, NJ, resulting in gridlock of, well, "Christie-an" proportions...the scheme was political payback to a local Democratic mayor who declined to endorse Christie for the Governor's race...in declaring that he was "shocked shocked" at the behavior of his long-time buddies, the Gov fired or forced out four of his cronies, three of them of the male persuasion and one woman...guess which one Christie singled out at his press conference as "stupid"...yep, that would be Bridget Anne Kelly, the lone female culprit...David Wildstein, Bill Baroni and Bill Stepien were bad boys, but are not considered "stupid" even though their actions were no different from Ms. Kelly's...but the Gov is concerned only about his own angst - he expressed not one word of remorse for the thousands of workday commuters who lost pay, or sick people whom medical emergency personnel could not reach on time (at least one elderly woman died of cardiac arrest after her trip to a hospital was delayed), or schoolchildren who were delayed on their first four days of school...a Republican strategist described Christie's press conference as "a troubling excess of first person singular"...meanwhile, Christie's ex-favorite rock star has weighed in with his take on the situation...http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/16/nyregion/christie-and-springsteen-a-tale-of-devotion-and-a-very-public-snub.html?nl=nyregion&emc=edit_ur_20140116...
...sorry honey, but if I'm going down, you're going with me...Virginia Governor Robert ("I am not a crook") McDonnell and his darling ex-Redskins cheerleader wifey, Maureen, have been indicted by a federal grand jury on 14 counts of fraud, misuse of office, and generally just being jerks...in the latest update, the Washington Post reports today that McDonnell was offered a deal by prosecutors that would have included no charges against his beloved wife...apparently loving husband Robert decided that "for better or for worse" has its limits...he rejected the deal...
...let them eat cake...first up on Congress' agenda is extension of unemployment benefits...this issue, along with immigration reform, offers our Republican legislators another opportunity to make life even more miserable for the most vulnerable members of society...scrambling to show their new-found compassion, Republicans have said they will extend benefits for the jobless if if if...equivalent cuts are made elsewhere -- but not to their rich boys' favorite toys like deductions for yachts, etc...so let's do the math...unemployment benefits have been re-authorized over twenty times under Democratic President Bill Clinton (White-Ark.) and Republican President George W. Bush (White-Tx.) without such conditions but now something is different?...oh yea, that's right, we have a Black President...trust me, that explains a lot...
...Cheney Family Values...in ending her campaign for the Senate in Wyoming, Liz Cheney (there is no word or phrase to adequately capture the vile nature of this person), self-anointed daughter of former Vice President Dick ("head") Cheney, couldn't stop herself from departing with a lie, claiming her withdrawal was due to family health concerns...even the Wyoming Republican establishment had to cover its collective mouth to keep from laughing at that one...on the way to crashing and burning, dear daughter Liz carpetbagged her way to Wyoming from her longtime home in Virginia while shamelessly claiming to be a Washington "outsider", lied about her residency and her sporting interest to secure a Wyoming fishing license, torched her own sister Mary by suddenly condemning gay marriages, blew up her own family in the process, and pissed off virtually every Republican in the State by attacking a very popular conservative Senator Mike Enzi...“It was just one thing after another,” one top Wyoming Republican said diplomatically, “Given all the political expertise in that family, she made a lot of rookie mistakes”...we can't wait to see what drama the Cheney family brings us next...
...Compass dogs?...in our continuing coverage of the amazing qualities of man's best friend, Nature World News reports that another team of academic researchers has discovered that canines relieve themselves in alignment with the earth's magnetic fields...
http://www.frontiersinzoology.com/content/pdf/1742-9994-10-80.pdf...
http://www.natureworldnews.com/articles/5516/20140103/dogs-relieve-themselves-in-alignment-with-earths-magnetic-field.htm...Specifically, after watching dogs pee 5,582 times (for a typical mutt this represents about half a day's activity) and crap 1,893 times (who volunteers for such observation duty?), the researchers concluded that "Dogs preferred to excrete with the body being aligned along the North–South axis under calm Magnetic Field conditions"...this dramatic finding is expected to greatly improve lives for humans around the globe...for example, I put these findings to immediate effect just the other night...it was bitterly cold (zero degrees Fahrenheit) when it was time to let our main dog Sammy out to pee before going to bed...being a typical dog, Sammy just stood there, completely baffled, looking at me as if I were insane to go out in such weather...so applying the findings of the Nottingham project, I studied the sky, checked the astronomical charts, and carefully oriented Sammy on a North-South magnetic polar axis (while quickly yanking my hand out of the way), and he promptly lifted his leg on our favorite shrub, "did his business," and ran back to the house...Brilliant!!...
-- New Jersey Governor Chris Christie's deputy chief of staff Bridget Anne Kelly in an email to the Port Authority of New York
...they all misbehaved but only the woman is ''stupid"...here we go again...Republican Governor Chris ("Chris") Christie is mired in a scandal surrounding his top aides intentionally causing massive traffic jams on the George Washington Bridge...for four days in September, Christie's top staff conspired with his appointments to the Port Authority of New York to close two access lanes to the bridge in Fort Lee, NJ, resulting in gridlock of, well, "Christie-an" proportions...the scheme was political payback to a local Democratic mayor who declined to endorse Christie for the Governor's race...in declaring that he was "shocked shocked" at the behavior of his long-time buddies, the Gov fired or forced out four of his cronies, three of them of the male persuasion and one woman...guess which one Christie singled out at his press conference as "stupid"...yep, that would be Bridget Anne Kelly, the lone female culprit...David Wildstein, Bill Baroni and Bill Stepien were bad boys, but are not considered "stupid" even though their actions were no different from Ms. Kelly's...but the Gov is concerned only about his own angst - he expressed not one word of remorse for the thousands of workday commuters who lost pay, or sick people whom medical emergency personnel could not reach on time (at least one elderly woman died of cardiac arrest after her trip to a hospital was delayed), or schoolchildren who were delayed on their first four days of school...a Republican strategist described Christie's press conference as "a troubling excess of first person singular"...meanwhile, Christie's ex-favorite rock star has weighed in with his take on the situation...http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/16/nyregion/christie-and-springsteen-a-tale-of-devotion-and-a-very-public-snub.html?nl=nyregion&emc=edit_ur_20140116...
...sorry honey, but if I'm going down, you're going with me...Virginia Governor Robert ("I am not a crook") McDonnell and his darling ex-Redskins cheerleader wifey, Maureen, have been indicted by a federal grand jury on 14 counts of fraud, misuse of office, and generally just being jerks...in the latest update, the Washington Post reports today that McDonnell was offered a deal by prosecutors that would have included no charges against his beloved wife...apparently loving husband Robert decided that "for better or for worse" has its limits...he rejected the deal...
...let them eat cake...first up on Congress' agenda is extension of unemployment benefits...this issue, along with immigration reform, offers our Republican legislators another opportunity to make life even more miserable for the most vulnerable members of society...scrambling to show their new-found compassion, Republicans have said they will extend benefits for the jobless if if if...equivalent cuts are made elsewhere -- but not to their rich boys' favorite toys like deductions for yachts, etc...so let's do the math...unemployment benefits have been re-authorized over twenty times under Democratic President Bill Clinton (White-Ark.) and Republican President George W. Bush (White-Tx.) without such conditions but now something is different?...oh yea, that's right, we have a Black President...trust me, that explains a lot...
...Cheney Family Values...in ending her campaign for the Senate in Wyoming, Liz Cheney (there is no word or phrase to adequately capture the vile nature of this person), self-anointed daughter of former Vice President Dick ("head") Cheney, couldn't stop herself from departing with a lie, claiming her withdrawal was due to family health concerns...even the Wyoming Republican establishment had to cover its collective mouth to keep from laughing at that one...on the way to crashing and burning, dear daughter Liz carpetbagged her way to Wyoming from her longtime home in Virginia while shamelessly claiming to be a Washington "outsider", lied about her residency and her sporting interest to secure a Wyoming fishing license, torched her own sister Mary by suddenly condemning gay marriages, blew up her own family in the process, and pissed off virtually every Republican in the State by attacking a very popular conservative Senator Mike Enzi...“It was just one thing after another,” one top Wyoming Republican said diplomatically, “Given all the political expertise in that family, she made a lot of rookie mistakes”...we can't wait to see what drama the Cheney family brings us next...
Liz to sister Mary: "Can I drag you
out from the bus I threw you under?
But not your Partner."
...only in America...in another sign of the United States' wonderful diversity, it is fitting that New York Yankee slugger/doper Alex Rodriguez ("A-Dumb-Rod") has been suspended for the entire 2014 season for unnaturally enhancing his body...this completes a trifecta in that the three most notorious baseball cheaters in history are a white guy (Roger Clemens), a black guy (Barry Bonds) and a Hispanic...we are truly the land of equal opportunity cheating (and lying)...out from the bus I threw you under?
But not your Partner."
...Compass dogs?...in our continuing coverage of the amazing qualities of man's best friend, Nature World News reports that another team of academic researchers has discovered that canines relieve themselves in alignment with the earth's magnetic fields...
http://www.frontiersinzoology.com/content/pdf/1742-9994-10-80.pdf...
http://www.natureworldnews.com/articles/5516/20140103/dogs-relieve-themselves-in-alignment-with-earths-magnetic-field.htm...Specifically, after watching dogs pee 5,582 times (for a typical mutt this represents about half a day's activity) and crap 1,893 times (who volunteers for such observation duty?), the researchers concluded that "Dogs preferred to excrete with the body being aligned along the North–South axis under calm Magnetic Field conditions"...this dramatic finding is expected to greatly improve lives for humans around the globe...for example, I put these findings to immediate effect just the other night...it was bitterly cold (zero degrees Fahrenheit) when it was time to let our main dog Sammy out to pee before going to bed...being a typical dog, Sammy just stood there, completely baffled, looking at me as if I were insane to go out in such weather...so applying the findings of the Nottingham project, I studied the sky, checked the astronomical charts, and carefully oriented Sammy on a North-South magnetic polar axis (while quickly yanking my hand out of the way), and he promptly lifted his leg on our favorite shrub, "did his business," and ran back to the house...Brilliant!!...
Sammy when the magnetic field is out of balance.
...Importantly, work in this field of study continues...the referenced report assures the scientific community that “Indications
of different directional tendencies depending on which leg (left or right) is
lifted are currently under study”...(and I am not making this up)...
...since it is now very cold and icy here in DC, I will close with my recommendation for a nice hot tea instead of the usual brew...Hah! not a chance...so I will gladly suggest that those looking for a nice winter brew sample Sam Adams Winter Lager...
- the Brewmeister -
