...free White House tours...open to public at any time...contact the Secret Service after entering only if you feel like it...the U.S. Secret ("Breach of") Service is supposed to protect the President and his family but has fallen to such a disgraceful state that the President is literally in danger even in his own house...last week, the latest in a dizzying string of security breaches occurred, and it was the scariest one yet...Omar ("Oh My") Gonzalez, a crazed war vet, jumped the outer security fence, raced across the lawn, walttzed right in the unlocked(!!!) front door of the White House, then bolted past a security guard, went through the Entrance Hall, wandered around the grand Central Hall and past the stairway leading the the First Family's living quarters where Malia and Michelle's mother were at the time, then strolled through the East Room and was entering the Green Room, all the time wielding a knife, before finally being tackled by a guard...Secret Service officers failed to release the attack dogs trained for just such an incident, failed to lock the doors, failed to hit the alarm button inside the front door, and then lied repeatedly about their miserable failures...Secret Service mouthpiece Ed ("if my lips are moving I'm lying") Donovan said the intruder was unarmed, which was a blatant lie, then said his boys got the suspect as soon as he entered the mansion, which was another blatant lie...

Big Ed: "Trust me. We've got it covered (up)."

...this sorry episode comes on top of a 2012 incident when Secret Service agents brought Columbian prostitutes back to their hotel and then refused to pay them for favors rendered, another incident in 2013 when agents passed out drunk in a hotel hallway in Amsterdam, one last month when an armed felon got on an elevator with Obama because Secret Service officers on duty didn't even question him, and a 2011 incident recently uncovered by the Washington Post when a gunman sat in his car out back of the White House and repeatedly fired a rifle at it, hitting a window and knocking pieces from the exterior while the idiot Secret Service supervisors ordered its officers on duty to "stand down" because they thought it was just a car backfiring (7 or 8 times?!)...this is clearly an agency that is rent with incompetent, out-of-control macho clowns who have no sense of responsibility whatsoever...predictably, our hypocritical Congress, which has slashed the agency's budget thereby precipitating many of the staff problems, is now expressing outrage and demanding hearings and answers but typically that will probably amount to nothing but political grandstanding just like in 2012...yesterday, Secret Service Director Julie ("Blame Me") Pierson wisely resigned but Disgraceful Donovan remains arrogantly at his post/microphone...so once again Congress has extracted its pound of flesh from the woman while letting the incompetent, lying man stay on (see, New Jersey Governor Chris ("women are stupid but men are just disappointing") Christie re Bridgegate)...does the story line ever change?...see story immediately below...

...notes from the National Domestic Violence League...the National "Blame-the-Victim" Football League is reeling from its left-footed handling of star player Ray ("Rotten") Rice's arrest for knocking his fiancee, Janay, unconscious and dragging her lifeless body out of an elevator...first they did nothing, then they suspended him for all of two (2) games, then Rice's team the Baltimore Ravens had the gall to release a tweet from Janay apologizing for her role (!!) in the incident  (you know, she asked for it and all that), then denied they had seen a video of Rice punching her inside the elevator, a lie that was immediately exposed by a hotel security person confirming he had sent the video to the NFL months ago...

Ray and Janay after a night out it's lights out (for her)

...the Rice woman-beating revelation was immediately followed by Minnesota running back Adrian ("Kids are for Beating") Peterson's arrest for whipping his 4-year old son with a tree branch so fiercely that it caused bruises and scrapes to the boys legs, buttocks, and scrotum...The boy told authorities that there were “a lot of belts in daddy’s closet,” and that daddy used them often...Peterson also allegedly stuffed leaves into his son’s mouth while he was being struck with his pants down...Big Brave Adrian's response?...he said that what his 4-year-old son received was a  “normal whooping,” and he couldn’t remember how many times he hit his son, but that it was likely “10 to 15″ times...he added that he doesn’t “ever count how many pops I give my kids”..."pops" as a euphemism for beating a four-year-old! - with a branch! - on the back of his scrotum!...what a sicko...this guy should be in jail on felony child abuse charges and have his kids immediately taken away from him for their safety...but even this did not earn Mr. Peterson so much as a suspension from NFL Commissioner Roger ("Boys will be Boys") Goodell until a public uproar demanded it...in quick succession this was followed by Carolina defensive player Greg ("Hit 'Em") Hardy's arrest for violently beating up his girlfriend, strangling her and threatening to kill her last May...which again did not initially result in any punishment from Goodell as Hardy played in a game last month, until the League was humiliated into suspending him...and now comes San Francisco defensive end Ray ("Dirtball") McDonald charged with belting his pregnant fiancee but still scheduled to play this Sunday...it is clear that the NFL is rife with thugs, women-beaters, child-abusers, violent psychos and assorted other severely warped societal misfits because the NFL not only enables such behavior, but conspires in covering it up and coddling the perpetrators...

Rice: "Janay apologizes for making me knock her out cold.
It may take several more sessions but I promise I'll beat her into shape eventually."

Peterson: "Give me the ball, kid, or I'll beat the crap out of you."

     Hardy: "The bitch deserved it."                            

McDonald: "So did my bitch -- and so did her fetus."

                                                        

Commissioner "Jolly Roger" Goodell reacts to his players' comments

...on the other hand some people just have no sense of humor....in breaking news from the ACLU, we have learned that the book most frequently challenged and sought to be banned is....(drum roll please)...."CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS"...according to the ACLU's Samia ("Just Sayin'") Hussain, complaints have included "offensive language and violence"...Hussain says the books contain no inappropriate language (unless one considers potty jokes offensive rather than just juvenile), and the extent of violence consists of a kiddy game that shoots out eggs instead of balls that land on everybody's head...your editor, who does not normally read such childish material, preferring grown-up literature like Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse, can relate personally to the Captain's humiliation...having just undergone abdominal surgery I am currently in the midst of several weeks of donning an undergarment embarrassingly similar to the Captain's, and it ain't fun or funny!!!...so the Captain and I don't want anybody making snide remarks about our attire, much less trying to ban our use of them...OK, TMI!!!

Just don't let this guy anywhere near Times Square!

...since this edition is a few days late, it's already October, which means its OCTOBERFEST time...and my recommended brew is, fittingly, Octoberfestbier brewed by Spaten-Franziskaner-Brau...aromatic, savoury, gold-colored nectar of the Gods...great in the bottle, to die for in draft...better yet, try all of these great German brews in celebration of Fall....

- the Brewmeister -